The world has me in its grip. Should I be content in that being the primary thing that holds me? That consumes me? That causes me to consider that overused clever wording – dis-ease and it’s presence in my life? Is ‘that’ all there is? NO! It cannot be so!
I know God is near but not near enough in the time when there are hours yet before a ray of sunshine will light this part of our ever-traveling globe. It is dark now and the darkness seems to mimic and magnify the fears that can trace their way through my brain at a pace that seems faster than the speed at which we travel through the universe. This is probably not possible and quite possibly something that is realistically immeasurable. And beyond that, isn’t a calculation of that nature a use of time and energy that need not be expended? I mean, really! Who actually needs to know such a thing even if it could be figured out? Of what use is the answer if we gain it?
Aren’t we really looking for answers that lead us toward growth, toward deeper understanding, toward who we are supposed to become, toward where our next step on our journey should be placed but without the fear that one small misstep could be the undoing of all things. We are not so grand as to casually assume such power in this universe. Our Creator God has that power, not us, certainly not me, nor do I seek it.
I seek being present and in God’s presence.
I seek being a gift giver but not to be the Gift.
I seek to be joyous but not to be the spring from which true Joy flows.
I seek to love but not to be more than a servant of the true lover of my soul.
I seek to be humble but not to be greater than the least of those who were near to the One who first taught us what it is to live in holy humbleness.
I seek mercy true heartedly, whole heartedly but do not always recall that where I see failure upon failure, it is God who truly knows my heart, my nature and my intent.
I seek to be transparent with God in such an earnest almost silly human way as if I do not remember that my Father knows me even before I know myself.
I seek grace time and time again on my journey but worry that I do not always walk steadily in the assurance that it will be freely given each and every time I call out.
The light will come. Oh, it will come. And in that light it will be revealed that these words that came to me in the dark are indeed true:
‘My heart can know no other thing but that You, my sweet Lord, are everything.’
These words have me in their grip.
~Shauna Weil
A devotion provided by the Devotion Ministry of Goodrich UMC
A devotion provided by the Devotion Ministry of Goodrich UMC
I had found two songs I had thought might be good for this devotion it something held me back. I was listening to the radio and Lauren Daigle came on, one of my favorites, singing Look Up Child. This is a song Kim Drobnich has shared that she hangs onto. I listened and thought of Kim hanging on and me trying to find something to hang on to and the words just crept inside me and told me what to do. Look up, child….